This article was first published in The Clarity Journal, our WyeWorks newsletter on leadership, uncertainty, and the craft of self-management. If you’d like to receive new editions as they come out, you can subscribe below.
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When the project started, my teammates constantly came to me with questions. Understandably—I had been at the company for years, worked on multiple projects, and started with this client before them.
And I… always responded.
Answering feels good. That moment when you hear the question, and you’re already anticipating your chance to showcase your expertise. An ego boost. A small victory for The Beast, that inner voice that craves control and certainty, who loves having the answer and making sure everyone knows it.
But eventually, something troubled me…
I thought: If I answer every question they bring me, is that beneficial for them?
Sure, short term? Problem solved. But what’s the effect long term?
How confident will they feel solving problems independently?
That’s when I discovered The Coaching Habit by 📚Michael Bungay Stanier, the book that started my obsession with questions. I realized every question they asked was a growth opportunity. And for that opportunity to exist, I had to do something challenging…
Resist answering.
I had to change my approach. Instead of going into expert mode and dispensing advice, I had to respond with questions.
“Rodri, we need to implement this. How should we proceed?”
“Hmm… what would you do?”
“What would you do?” A simple question like that gives them space to engage with the problem, to realize they’re closer to solving it than they thought, and to gain confidence trying it themselves over time.
Compare the confidence you gain after persistently tackling a programming problem until you solve it with the feeling of an instant ChatGPT answer. Two different kinds of learning.
The key is catching yourself before activating expert mode (spotting The Beast). That automatic impulse to say “here’s how it’s done.” Instead, returning a question.
At first, it’s hard. It requires controlling your emotions. That pause where you choose not to shine is an act of leadership. But like any new habit, it gets easier.
Over time, you also learn that not every question deserves a question back. Some moments call for direct answers. And learning to tell the difference is part of the process.
— Rodrigo
Clarity & Leadership at WyeWorks.
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